i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
