Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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