I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
