alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
