carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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