if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
