We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a search helicopter?!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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