Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
