I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
