Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. š¦
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
And, by āmake you dinnerā I mean āhave lots of sex and multiple orgasms.ā So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
