The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
