hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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