No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
