Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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