You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
