We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
