What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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