doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
