He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
