I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
