And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
