On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
