I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
