i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
