Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
