Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
