she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
