direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
