He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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