Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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