I heard we made out
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
