but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
