I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
