The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
