She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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