He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got inside last night via doggy door
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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