He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
