I puked a lego.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
