Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
