i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
