Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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