i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
