Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
