I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
