Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
