You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
