I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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