So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
