We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
