so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
